Out of the place at Winthrop, and into a new suburb at Crawley. Searching for a new place was such a pain but I am absolutely in love with where I'm living now. A quaint two room apartment that is barely furnished. It had a few homely elements to it, like several paintings hung up on the wall and a two-seater couch in front of a teeny television. Slowly but surely we are filling up the place with bits of furniture and in the last week, I really feel like this is home.
It's been a week, but I do miss the bustle in Winthrop. There's always something happening. Someone baking a cake, impromptu gatherings, spontaneous outings to party, lazing around on someone's bed and gossiping.
But it's a different kind of lovely in this new place. My current housemate is quite the darling and I do enjoy all the quiet and peace. It's so comfortable that my housemate and I would not leave the house. It's quite hilarious.
We haven't gotten down to cooking for the house (apparently I'm supposed to plan the meals and stuff), and I hope i do start soon so I have things to post here. All we been doing is walking over to the arcade nearby for groceries and makan.
saying “how can you be sad when people have it so much worse than you” is as ridiculous as “how can you be happy when people have it so much better than you”
akay and i inspect the littlest strange bugs i swept up into the dustpan. there were several crawling on the floor and they weren't anything we seen before.
peering closer, i commented that they look like beetles.
"really?", as akay took the dustpan from me and adjusted it to get more light.
our heads went drew closer to the dustpan as we tried to scrutinize what it might be, and then the unexpected happened.
"it flies!" as we both pulled back in horror as we saw the little bug extend its wings and started to hover slightly.
on a less mundane note, just had an incredible last 24 hours. honestly going to miss all that shit going on with my favorite people in perth.
a birthday party upon a traveling yacht. dancing to house music as we watched the stars above us and the waves crash upon the sides of the boat. there was so much finger food and so many beers that we had to finish before arriving at the jetty at the end of the night. can't refuse man.
the night ended early for the yacht party, so we brought the party from water to land, ending up at Hush, a R&B club.
woke up bright and early this morning, and headed to freo where Rev and I got our tongues pierced. damn, feels so teenagery to do that. zzz why the hell did i wait till i was 23 to do it? as usual, it wasnt ever aesthetically appealing to me before. it's a recent discovery that it isn't obvious until u really stick the tongue out?
and today ended with a really nice dinner party where rev cooked mutton curry, yoghurt salad and pathi. she's such an amazing girl.
There’s a folder of pictures I can’t open. There’s so many songs that don’t sound the same. There’s a number I can’t dial and a message I can’t send. There’s a restaurant I can’t eat at, not with any friends. There’s words and names I can only say in my head. There’s a pair of eyes that belong to you, that I can never look into again.
I Wrote This For You: The Missing Machine
Many parts of me, I couldn't look at properly after I let you go. I did not anticipate all this space.
Triapsed down to discover Loysel's Toy at 66 Kampong Bugis with Kristen one afternoon. It was a real peaceful deal, hidden away from all the hustle and bustle of the citylife in Singapore.
Our orders were made at the counter. I had my usual caffeine fix of a long black.
The long black coffee glass and tissue ribbon looked so familiar! Ah.. no wunder, this place sold the same coffee as Papa Palheta, except this cafe offered a range of food like sandwiches and pastries. The Long Black coffee was 4 dollars. Ah great, now I know exactly how much tip I should drop in Papa Palheta. :P
Kristen and I shared their brunch set, and had our eggs scrambled so that it was easier to eat. :P The brunch felt pretty... healthy. It had the components and colours of a brunch plate but it did taste a little plain. Ah well.
We sat at the huge table outside and Kristen did her work while we waited for Ade to come.
Kristen on the phone directing Ade to the cafe because google maps was being dreadfully confusing. I really think this place would be best accessed by car. No parking lots but there are lots of area for people to park. Actually, the nearest bus stop to the cafe had buses to town, horrand vee, buona vista, and queenstown (obviously places I go to). So I guess it's really convenient for me afterall.
Eating her veg like a good girl :P
The decoration was pretty quirky and random. Tables and chairs were mis-matched in a really endearing manner, with lots of space in between. The atmosphere was really chilled and the place was surrounded by a lot of greenery.
Ade finally came and she ordered the lemon tart (recommended by Kristen) and affrogato. Yummy choices. Although the affrogato was really bitter.
And at Loysel's Toy was when I learnt that expresso shots 'die' after 10 seconds if they are not managed appropriately. I simply could not believe Ade until I double-checked that information with my starbucks barista friend, Cheryl. :X Sorry ade! Basically, an expresso shot, if not mixed with sugar or made into a coffee drink like latte, macchiatto, whatsoever, would die. Die meaning it would turn bitter because the components in the expresso would have separated, thus rendering it yucky to drink. Who knew!
Ah my friends... can never keep a straight face. <3 y'all deep deep.
My to-go place for shisha-ing would be at Sufi's (48 Arab Street). I think their shisha is real great tasting. I had rose vanilla, while Kristen and Phan took up the place's recommendation which was strawberry mango mint (i think). Had their wedges, lassi and turkish tea. All good 'cept the waiting time was pretty crazy. Can't blame them, the place is really huge and it was packed with customers from the front all the way to the back alley.
My second place of choice would be Going Om (63 Haji Lane).
I would probably give Merdandy a miss. Their shisha tastes like soap water which was a real disappointment considering that I used to frequent there a lot just two years back.
Of course all in all, the shisha tobacco in Singapore is nothing like the ones you can get in Malaysia apparently. I have yet to try. Well, for now I will endure the long waiting time and continue to shisha at Sufi's while I'm in Singapore. :D
first cny ever to see so many close to me shed tears. everyone's baggages seem to have been amplified from the stressors of preparing for the festivities, further compounded by having to meet curious relatives whom you only meet once a year to summarize what they missed; whether it is a missing partner, an unfulfilled year that just passed by, or the uncertainty of the future. still, everyone who dares to step out of their houses into the homes of the vultures still managed to put up a smiling front. interesting.
sure there is nothing to hide, but i found it tiresome having to explain complicated matters over and over again. so instead of doing the talking, i become either reticent or unusually interested in their lives. move the topics to common items like recipes and cooking (for mothers and aunties), travelling (to dads and uncles), schools and social-life (to peers and cousins) and then to the popular topics of technology accessories like apple iphone/macbooks vs every other brand.
good enough. sadly, nobody else seemed to share my love for 9gag.
but the usual bits of cny were still fun. like reunion dinner with my family and close relatives, paying visits and sitting awkwardly in sparkling residences, tasting and comparing every single pastry at every house, collecting delightful red packets, fresh new clothes, and lou-heiii.
oh how i love to lou-hei. unadulterated shredded vegetables stirred in plum sauce, peanut, sesame, raw salmon, crispy cracker pockets, and prosperity messages to hail a good chinese year ahead.
funny how quickly time flies, and once again it is a new year. 2012, the beginning of the end. well, as bleak as the year is said to be (with the Mayans predicting that the world is coming to an end and all), i have decided to make it a point to blog more often. so many precious moments, I have failed to capture in the last half a year. i felt like a top, spinning happily and seeing the colours go by. but what became of me when i began losing speed was that i began to spin very unstably. and i did not realise that change. much to the discomfort of many of my closer friends back in singapore who were both worried and annoyed with me.
that's okay. i am now back in singapore, gathered myself a little, and I hope I am a little more matured than when I first ventured down-south.
okay, so it is already very well into the first month of 2012, but it's never too late to come up with guidelines to navigate through the year. furthermore, school only begins on the 27th of feb. and really, guidelines only prove themselves worthy during chaotic times (yes i actually find school life chaotic).
don't shoot me, but my guidelines for the new year are extremely unoriginal. but here they are anyway:
1) immerse myself in the moment - really means quit drifting away when people are talking and focus on the person's conversation. or at the very least, make it less obvious when im not listening :\ - quit being judgmental and so afraid of the unfamiliar. get to know others, and discover new things.
2) treasure the ones i love - my-out-of-sight, out-of-mind attitude is atrocious. i love my family and friends but sometimes (all the time?) i have a tendency to forget. - not make them so worried by taking care of myself: basically smoke less and eat healthily.
3) keep my eyes on the prize - psychology. i will commit myself to living and breathing psychology this year.
4) schedule, for more time. - perhaps, when i am more mindful in scheduling my life, i would enjoy everything i commit myself to. i would be more patient, and less uptight.
5) Update this blog - then I can keep track of my progress.
Kat: "you can't hang on to baby sentences and in the same way baby scenes... you can't have babies... means to an end. it's brutal"
me: hahaha kat that's so profound
Kat: "i didn't make that up... that's what we were told on the first day of newsroom class... and yet, people held on to babies in their reports... and got brutally edited"
These were the content of a conversation Kat and I were having a few weeks back. It was loosely about being able to suck up criticism and be making necessary changes. Well, this thought floated back to my mind now that I am finally done with the coordination of pitch training for the top 11 startups who are going to pitch at this event that I am organizing.
I noticed a trend (non-significant since it was only out of 11 startups) who had flashy decks and they were unusually resistant to feedback that Aneace dispensed. The result was that they made minimal changes to their deck which were merely cosmetic changes that does not include the fundamental elements that Aneace earlier suggested .
And this resistance was so obviously displayed by a startup asking Aneace, "so... what further advice would you give me on my deck... other than just changing the slides?". That question was posed after half an hour of suggestions from Aneace to improve on the startup's supposedly revised deck (which looked no different from the original deck)
It was really the cutest question ever!
The person was very obviously impervious to suggestions could lead to the possible detriment of his pitch.
I cannot comment as to whether I think it's wise or not for the person to listen to Aneace since I am not a VC with intrinsic interest in the value of the product, and neither have I participated in similar pitching competitions.
What really intrigued me was the resistance to change. It made me think about how erroneous it is to be unreceptive to change. I mean that's pretty obvious problem since there ARE self-help books targeting that problem and also Kat's advise on 'not holding on to babies'.
It seems unintuitive for humans to be so non-adaptive as to not take advise for a problem they have not begun to realise. Even when the problem is explicitly expounded (in this case Aneace stated the problems), it is pretty clear that the persons has just shut-down and decided to pick up only information that supported their own ideas. Interesting..
So what are the solutions which would make this advise-giving possible? What kind of approach should Aneace have adopted with these startups? How could he have identified them and thus the approach to use to reduce the resistance towards his advise?
On a separate note, I was at my friend's place after dinner and he has this adorable nephew who refused to play with us 'strangers'.
I believe that baby is only a little more than a year old and what I couldn't help thinking was how the baby was able to discriminate familiars and strangers very quickly. It's like humans have an in-built mechanism for biasness. Sure, we have a very developed area in our brains (fusiform gyrus) that is dedicated to the differentiating of faces. And it seems that this ability to discriminate is this precursor for exclusion, leading to selfishness, prejudice, racism, chauvinism... the list goes on..
So to what extent can we forgive discriminatory behaviour as just purely human nature? To what extent should the behaviour be modified? What kind of re-education is needed for extensive prejudice?
Hmmmsss... there ARE interesting psychology papers on prejudice and stuff. Those that I mostly read upon (or remember) are about priming and Implicit Associations. Can't remember if there's anything about the amelioration of these behaviours.
okay, neither are anything new. Just random thought that blab out throughout the day. no wonder im so distracted.
i was giving thought about my supposed 'stoning behaviour' and i realised that it appears more often when i have more thoughts in my mind which makes me unfoccused in the present. It's sth worth investigating this whole thing about stoning. Or maybe a better word is 'daydreaming'.
I should find out if there's any lit on daydreaming. could be a possible thesis topic :P
Sunday, June 5, 2011
LOL
how many times am i gonna say that I will update my blog more regularly... only to cast it aside for more interesting endeavours like Sushi-Go-Round and Big Bang Theory.
Well, today i'm merely updating for the sake of touching base with this blog and to feel less guilty about overlooking my commitment to train my mind to be able to focus on a train of thought and not go off tangent.
So let's begin:
I caught X-Men: First Class with Gilbert today and it was frigging awesome! It has to be one better movies I caught this year, along with Kungfu Panda 2 and Black Swan.
I am done with 7 weeks of internship at Acacia Rise, a school that uses guided participation to encourage dynamic thinking through its activities and syllabus. They follow closely to RDI. It was an amazing time there and I feel like I learnt so much more through the interaction with the kids and guidance from the teachers. The kids I worked with made real improvements over the time I was there and that was very affirming to my belief in that particular method of autism intervention..
Obviously there were times I felt pretty miserable, as the day-to-day becomes quite mundane. And then I was juggling two other jobs at the same time, which meant I was pretty exhausted. But I kept myself sane by reading up more about autism, neuroplasticity and watching scientists share their knowledge on platforms like TED.
Well, it's over and now I'm look forward to the work at e27 and my NUS proff. Although Acacia did ask me to go back and help in an adhoc basis. So it's really good. I will get to see my kids!
Okay well updates updates... I chopped my hair shorter cos my days were so busy I felt like my hair was such a burden. I camwhored today, will post up the photos later in this post.
At e27, I am allowed to work from home. SUCK ON THAT. super awesome right. well, not all the time. When I work from home, my family automatically assumes that I am bumming and assigns me chores. Otherwise they keep talking to me and then I get distracted. Another downside is that I'm really working 24/7. The plus-side is that I am working from home, which really sounds like a cool job to have. :\ LOL.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I had a dream we went away, left this city for a day You took me southwards on a plane and showed me Spain or somewhere But in reality your not so keen to show me anything And I thought you liked me.
hahaha. feeling especially perky since I had a good day today. Deciding to relish on how awesome my weekend has been.
Today. Got to work before 8AM, singing Home as I sashayed to work since I was totally early. Then work was pretty fun, physically tiring as per usual, chasing the kids around the place. Headed to Central @ Clarke Quay to meet Bryan for high tea at TCC. Yum yum licks. It was great meeting him to catch up before he begins jet-setting. Envious! He's heading to Aus, Japan then Taiwan.
The weekend was pretty good too.
Friday night was at Hsuzy's place having a steakout. Basically, we shared 2KG worth of beef between the 12 of us. All of us prepared a little somethingsomething as sides for the steak. I did a simple yoghurt dessert consisting of yoghurt, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and cereal toppings. I did that because I was so damn sick of cooking since I've been doing quite a fair bit due to the 'festivities' (or reallly just plain ole' boredom). However, it was a really excellent recipe for very little effort. The recipe is really whatever you see in it, plus whatever cereal you crave for. and a teaspoon of honey.
Then sat came, got my nails done with Ade since my nails were beginning to look realllly shitty. My fingertips are now feeling sweeeeeeet in pink and my toes are feeling sexy in their earthy tone. Ade and I shopped and then we met up with Hsuzy and Gil and headed to Burger Shack to fill our tummies. their burger and fries were unbelievably yummy. I can't believe it took me so long to finally taste them. Then after, headed to Qing's place for some rockbanding till 2am. Excellento.
Sunday was a day of rest. I was woken abruptly from my beauty sleep by the deliveryman. And since I couldn't get back to sleep, I settled down in front of the TV and proceeded to watch three to four movies back to back. Three to four because one of the movies was so bad I left it running on the TV while i did other stuff. Not exactly being proud of my non-energy-saving methods but I was home alone and I hate it when the house gets too quiet. So anyway, the more memorable films were Charlie St Cloud and Sophie's Revenge (2009). I especially recommend Sophie's Revenge to anyone who loves arty dressed up setups and deliberate cartoonish transitions. This film is honestly the <3 in that aspect. Otherwise, it's a very nice lightweight romantic comedy that everyone will love. Also, you would have never known Zhang Zi Yi could effectively act in such a quirky role. Here are some pictures to whet your appetites, and hopefully you'd go catch it too. PS. I <3 the set.
I started the first two days of my 2011 SLEEPING like a log. haha. it has been good though. i really love my sleep.
It's been a great year; Finally graduating from NUS. Meeting Gilbert. Being closer friends to Ade and Mich. Still really firm friends with my secondary school mates whom i love so dearly. Celebrating Yul's 22nd birthday. Upgraded from owning scaly cold-blooded pets to a nice warm furry hamster.
Anyway, NEW YEAR RES 2011: in 2010, i couldn't tell a lie with a straight face. 2011, i will work on my 'i'm-completely-innocent' face. if all fails, i guess i'll just have to miaow for forgiveness.
Other resolutions: Find a job/school. Get that driving license. Train my hamster. Sew something (I am now the proud owner of a sewing machine goddamnit) Start being more active, lest i become a jelly at the end of 2011.
yeah that's about it. okay bye.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
And oft, my jealousy shapes faults that are not. ~William Shakespeare
This quote exactly sums up why I want to rid this stupid jealous malaise in me. I'm really quite weak at articulating my own thoughts and feelings, so I'm thankful for all the help I can get from google and these writers.
Jealousy. I begin to see flaws in myself. The self-doubt feeds. I give up things I enjoy because I don't think I'm good enough.
On the other hand, I regard the 'somebody' (who probably doesn't even know I'm jealous or envious in the first place) to have the ill-est intentions directed at myself, and have the lowest character ever.
In any case, these feelings are just unhealthy. I want to get out of it.
I have been feeling jealous/envious (or whatever that angry feeling is) for the past year towards this 'someone'. as much as i admire the person, I just can't help feeling bitter about that person's achievements, and more so, the lack of regard for my potential.
So i was trolling around the internet for quotes to put this horrible emotion into perspective. I found one that wasn't just witty but provided some insight as to how I could cast that feeling aside. Thought I'd just share it:
Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them. ~Jennifer James
that's just what I will want to do. focus on my own projects, and quit counting the blessings of others. and on another note, stop waiting for others to value what i can bring to the table. i simply don't need anyone's approval to be awesome.
hahah! i never know where to begin blogging because I can't even remember what I was blogging about before. Oh wait, I haven't actually been blogging anyway.
Oh well, decided to pen a post before this blog becomes stale. Nothing much's happening in my life right now. I started on an internship which I like to think of as wine. It's an acquired taste and perhaps I'd grow to enjoy and someday, even savour it. It's really quite a task to be able to be warm and welcoming, especially to kids. Being kids, they are already equipped to look so adorable and I just want to love them. But sometimes I'm not quite sure how to engage them. And that can be quite stressful since all these thoughts are running in my head. What should I say next that could be appropriate and understandable by these kids? And sometimes it is even scarier because the parents are looking on so expectantly, and I am just afraid to say something that might offend them or their child. :\ what if they cryyyyyy. :(
i hang around in the clinic in the mornings and then head to do admin stuff in the afternoon. It's cool, they have a SIPT conference coming up and I'm helping with operations-related stuff for it. HAHA. It's funny how I kinda always end up with some conference-related task. Referring to my last internship in a startup doing a conference for Singtel.
Oh, right now i'm also stressing over what to wear to work. I want to look smart yet lovable. hmmm..
okay toodles. im gonna go to bed. and hopefully when i wake up tmrw, i would be less lazy and bother to blog more. ha.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
HELLO. sorry i disappeared for so long.
here is a post. about how i bought this awesome pretty LOVE bracelet from Bershka. which costed me a grand SGD16.90. I should seriously start DIY-ing my own stuff. zzzz.
easier said than done really. but really, 17 dollars for sth so flimsy is just so un-like me! (I tried flipping the photo, back forth right centre, to get the love-word right, and the photo turns out to be me upside down. lol. so i decided to just leave it as it is) My thoughts when I was buying it was that it will remind me to love love love. Suppose to work like the fad where people wore rubber bands with encouraging words embossed in them, to remind them to do/be that. haven't actually thought of the parameters of it, but i guess it's a good thing nonetheless. i had the best intentions when i bought it.
hms, but then again, the road to hell is paved with good intention. okay, i better figure out what I would mean by 'LOVING' everyday.
anyway, life's been fair. there's nothing much going on, except an awesome Halloween at Brotzeit, Suntec. It was really fun until the end of the night when I started puking my guts out because I drank and FORGOT that I ate panadol, because I have had been having some badass flu.
the 1L beer mugs, and food :D
the bunny, the madhatter and the devil.
the monster and i
yishu was there! she wasn't the joker.
marcus the jailbird
tinklebell is drunk on fairy dust.
i am guzzling here, but i swear i only had like one mug all night. :\ stupid panadol.
Anyhow, i did want to do a make up look to look more dramatic.
and here's the actual look i copied off.
really sexy huh.
I didn't want to buy make up to specially do that look but yet i needed the colours to be bright, which probably couldn't be achieved with cheap make-up, so i improvised with sgd2.90 clown facepaint from holland v. The 'eye-shadow' looks a little wet (it was still wet then, and never really did dry). It was not too bad and would have looked decent in the night anyway.
so I tried the look the night before, just so that I would know if it would work or not, and whether I would get an allergic reaction to the paint, and not waste time the next evening because I had a tight schedule? well, i didn't have time anyhow.. hahahaha. good try though. Well, one thing that transpired from using the facepaint make up was that i really feel like buying the 88 eyeshadow palette from ebay. it's only USD10, and I think i can do so many pretty make-up looks with it... dreams dreams... one day i'll get it!
spent some hours to pass the time away plucking strings to the tunes of Train it's been a long time since i last touched Jane as she sat by the desk collecting dust, i reckon my skills have turned to rust.
To be clear, Jane is the name of my loyal and very dependable classical guitar.
first my home, now even my extended families are all topsy-turvey.
damn everyone, I am not mad because everyone is acting all childish and irresponsible. I am upset because no one cares for my feelings. as if the things they do wouldn't affect me at all.
I am not really fashionable. Since I was lazy in my dressing, I appropriately saw myself as being decently presentable with nothing too outlandish. But recently, I think i'm traipsing dangerously close to becoming a fashion disaster.
i am currently in the midst of searching for a backpack that would be suitable for work+play. backpack for work?! sounds quite disastrous! but... my poor shoulders are paying the price for my need to look pretty while i tot around carrying an oversized, overstuffed handbag. And G has been reluctant to carry my handbags for me! :( my bags aren't even flowery or tiny looking. He shouldn't be embarrassed since i carried a decent sturdy leather handbag, albeit a red one. Right?
The concession he makes was that I hooked my arm around the handbag whilst he carried it so it looks like I'm carrying it and he's hooking his hand around my bag. :/
I thought I needed a better solution, hence I decided to start looking for an appropriate backpack.
I think it's quite funny how I evolved from backpacks (remember Deuter?) in my secondary education, to a large tote bag during my tertiary days, then to oversized handbags in university, and now I am moving back to backpacks.
Interestingly, if I started carrying backpacks, G could start helping me carry them because they totally look like guy-bags and so he would never be embarrassed. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i lost my hotmail account password. in fact, i haven't changed it in years, so i don't understand how i suddenly can't log in anymore. so anyway, i tried to fix it by sending a reset password? and kinda hoping that i did send the password to my current email. but no, it's sent to some ho*****@hotmail.com
was my account hacked?
Gefeliciteerd.
It's really so troublesome since several of my accounts are linked to this email, including my facebook and youtube!
